Top 5 Things My
Thirtysomething Self
Would Tell My Twentysomething Self.
Would Tell My Twentysomething Self.
~Life Categories:
Happiness, Uplifting, Relationships~
#1) He is NOT the One.
All those guys you date, the relationships
you mourn, the One you were positive was your soul mate that you have lost,
ruining your life forever, never to recover??
Not so. Your heart will
break. More than once. And worse than the time before. Your heart heals stronger in the broken
pieces, filled by lessons of love lost that propel you somehow forward thru
life. And one day, you’ll find yourself
with someone who respects you without being told to do so, someone who treats
you how you always knew you deserved to be treated and someone that makes you
realize, this wasn’t only meant to be -- it’s how it always should have been.
#2) Don’t use your credit cards.
From talk show segments to tips and tricks on
the Internet, debt management plagues so much of our generation. Put down that plastic! A fitting nickname, the dreaded Plastic only
provides you with the superficial and materialistic in life. Among my biggest regrets time and time again
in my twenties was charging up a tab that not only created such financial debt that wreaked havoc on everything in my life – so much so that it caused me to accumulate emotional
debt as well. They say the #1 cause of
conflict in relationships is about money.
Whoever “they” are, I’m sure they had credit card debt. The stress and pressure every day of making
those payments, reducing that balance, catching up with what you owe, simply
are not worth it. Don’t sabotage
yourself by setting yourself up for failure.
Don’t do yourself the disservice of living beyond your means. Accumulating the quantity of what you could
have shortchanges the quality of what you already do have. I have never felt so free as when I was out
of credit card debt. And that is truly
priceless.
#3) LET GO.
‘Nuff said. In your
thirties, you will trim the figurative fat in your social circle, your work
colleagues; you will even set boundaries with toxic family members. In my twenties, I thrived at being a Drama
Queen. In my thirties, especially with a
new baby and a family of my own, I strive to thrive in and create a kingdom of
calm – not chaos.
#4) Family is
everything.
About a year and a half ago, we almost lost our father –
ironically a cardiologist – to a massive heart attack and quintuple bypass
surgery. He survived to see his first
grandson born a year later, named after him, Benjamin; and to see his first granddaughter
Elyse born on his 70th birthday – both within five months of each
other! I’ve watched the patriarch of our
family continue to teach us great lessons of life even as he enjoys these grand
and golden years. Don’t ever take family
for granted. And family is
everything. It is easy to dismiss them
and lose touch, but more detrimental, to lose focus on your parents because
everyone has grown up and grown apart and literal and figurative distance
separates us all in our adult lives. The
events of the past year or so -- near death and then the celebration of such
beautiful life -- has made me truly appreciate my parents as everyone said I
would.
It wasn’t until I held my daughter in my arms and saw my
husband cradling her at all hours of the day and night that I witnessed and
felt firsthand the unconditional love of a parent. And in so doing, feel blessed more than ever
to have two wonderful parents like my own.
I would definitely advise my cocky, arrogant, couldn’t-be-bothered
twentysomething self to foster all family connections. There’s no excuse in this day and age of
texting, emailing and social media. Call
your mother. Or at least send an
emoticon and an LOL now and then.
#5) You CAN do it.
Si se puede. Yes you can. It can be done.
I gave birth to a healthy baby girl two weeks ago –
all-natural, drug-free, not even an IV.
Your body, your mind, your spirit are unbreakable. You can – and will – do all you set your
heart and soul to do. It’s not just your
mind, as the saying goes. Dear
twentysomething self: dig deep and pray,
meditate, chant, commit, seek guidance in and from whatever your higher power
is to you.
Educate yourself, visualize what you want to happen, embody
and embrace the positive outcome, sweep away the fear of what-ifs and know
without a doubt and with every conviction in all the fibers of your being that
you can do it. You have all that is
necessary within you to achieve it and make it happen. Let yourself surprise yourself.
What advice would you give your younger self? What have been the most valuable lessons
you’ve learned in the past decade of your life?
